I’ve come to believe that the search for one’s purpose, what the Japanese call ikigai, is less a quest to find something new, and more a process of remembering what has always been there. We often speak of purpose as if it were a treasure to be discovered, hidden beneath layers of life’s distractions, or worse, handed to us by some external force. But perhaps, the secret is that we’ve always known it. It’s been humming quietly in the background, waiting for us to stop, listen, and acknowledge it.
I’ve lived long enough to know that chasing after ambition, accolades, and external validations will leave you feeling emptier than when you began. These are hollow victories. Ikigai, however, is something different—it’s not tied to any outward achievement, but to a profound sense of belonging in your own skin. It is the stillness in knowing that your life, as it is, matters. That what you are doing right now, no matter how small, has meaning.
Let me tell you a story.
Audrey Hepburn, a name synonymous with grace and beauty, once found herself at the height of fame, adored by millions. Yet, when asked about her greatest achievement, she didn’t speak of her Oscars, her roles, or her stardom. Instead, she turned her attention to her work as a UNICEF ambassador, helping children in war-torn countries. She found her ikigai not in the glitzy world of Hollywood, but in the quiet, compassionate act of serving others. Her life’s purpose became crystal clear when she realized that it wasn’t about the external adoration, but the internal fulfillment of giving back.
1. Quiet the Noise and Listen Deeply
Our modern world is unmelodious. We’re bombarded daily with messages about what we should desire, how we should live, and who we ought to be. But if you want to find your ikigai, the first step is to turn down the volume on the world’s expectations. You must cultivate stillness, not just in your surroundings, but within yourself.
There’s an immense difference between the quiet that comes from muting the external world and the quiet that comes from internal peace. The latter is far more elusive. But it’s there, deep within the recesses of your being, if only you’d sit long enough to hear it.
2. Rediscover What Brings You Joy—Before the World Told You What Should
We enter this world with our hearts wide open, full of curiosity, wonder, and excitement. As children, we know instinctively what we love. But as we grow older, the world steps in. It tells us that certain dreams are impractical, certain joys are childish. And so, we bury them, thinking that maturity demands we trade our wonder for responsibility.
But ikigai lives in those forgotten places. It lives in the things that once made your heart leap—the activities that brought you joy for the sheer sake of doing them. Perhaps you were once an artist before the world told you that art couldn’t pay the bills. Or a poet who gave up words in exchange for a ‘serious’ career. These passions are not frivolous—they are breadcrumbs leading you back to your purpose.
3. Be of Service, Not Spectacle
True ikigai is never about you alone. It is about the unique way you can serve the world. Our culture prizes spectacle—those who shine the brightest, make the most noise, and gather the largest followings. But I’ve found that the most profound purpose is often quiet, understated. It is found in serving something larger than yourself.
Think of Mother Teresa, who, in her simplicity, found profound meaning in caring for the poorest of the poor. Or Jane Goodall, whose work with chimpanzees wasn’t about fame, but about deeply understanding and protecting another species. Their ikigai was not rooted in personal gain, but in the quiet, persistent service to others.
4. Embrace the Fullness of Life, Even the Mundane
There is a myth that purpose must be grandiose. That unless you are changing the world in some visible, extraordinary way, your life is somehow lacking. But the truth is, ikigai can be found in the simplest of acts. It’s in the way you care for your family, the way you show up for your friends, the quiet rituals of your daily life.
I think of Emily Dickinson, who lived most of her life in relative obscurity, tucked away in her family home, yet penned some of the most profound poetry ever written. She wasn’t chasing after accolades or recognition. She was living her truth, and in doing so, left behind a legacy that continues to resonate today.
5. Live Fully, But Stay Rooted in Reality
I’ve always believed that dreams should be big, audacious even. But they must be anchored in reality. To live fully is not to escape into fantasy, but to engage deeply with the present moment. You can dream of building an empire, but you must also be willing to do the work, day in and day out. You can aspire to change the world, but you must first be willing to change yourself.
Ikigai is not some abstract, unattainable concept. It is found in the tangible, everyday realities of your life. It is in the work you do, the people you love, the way you engage with the world around you. And it is yours, waiting patiently, for you to claim it.
In conclusion:
Ikigai isn’t about waiting for life to offer you a grand destiny. It’s about living in such a way that every moment becomes imbued with meaning. It’s a slow dance between who you are and what you contribute to the world, whether through your work, your art, or your simple presence. Find it, hold it, nurture it—because this is where your true strength lies. Not in the pursuit of perfection, but in the quiet, persistent act of becoming.
Now getting practical, I can think of two tools that made the most difference in unapologetically aligning my energy with my true passions.
First, a book. The One Thing by Gary Keller. It will serve you as a practical exercise to help narrow down your interests into a targeted purpose you can pursue. After its completion, you will know yourself better and gain clarity to move in one specific direction, intentionally.
Secondly, the To Be Magnetic program. If you, like past me, feel there is a glass ceiling impeding you from stepping into the energy needed to align with your dreams, this is for you.
The To Be Magnetic manifestation program, backed by neuroscience, psychology, EMDR, epigenetics, and a sprinkle of spirituality, helped me raise my self-worth and embrace my authenticity by reprogramming limiting beliefs picked up during childhood and throughout life.
At the end of the day, it is this subtle energetic work and the reformulation of your belief system that can lead to the biggest transformations.
One Last Note: Cultivate Self-Compassion
This might seem unrelated to success, but self-compassion is the cornerstone of resilience. You will stumble, fail, and make mistakes along the way. But how you speak to yourself in those moments will determine whether you continue. Be gentle. Acknowledge your efforts, and don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle.
Brené Brown, renowned researcher and author, speaks about the importance of self-compassion as a foundation for courage. Without it, the fear of failure becomes too paralyzing. But with it, each stumble becomes a stepping stone to growth.
I’m slightly diverting from the main topic, but if you, as I do, identify as an introvert, I can’t recommend her book ‘Quiet‘ enough. In short, It’s a warm hug in the shape of a book. It will instil in you the knowledge to appreciate the value of your introversion and recognize and appreciate your essence.
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